i am very concerned about the world and everyone and i am tired of richard brautigan. i wish he would talk sense.

leaving the house puts a sour taste in my mouth. i'm too anxious. i get impassioned about little things, and it's difficult to get anything done when one is so impassioned all the time. i'm pretty much convinced that i'm dying of cancer and that everyone i know is headed down a path toward heroin addiction. i lose sleep at night over the supreme court and the patriot act and the virginia gubernatorial race. politics make me feel hopeless and overwhelmed, but i am obsessed with reading the newspaper. i spend hours every day reading the newspaper. this habit is keeping me from leading a normal life. i am driving myself insane with fine print. why am i so neurotic???

maybe i should stop smoking. cigarettes and humidity are making it difficult to breathe. i think i'm going to have to start using a respirator. i didn't used to be such a fucking nervous hypochondriac. i feel like a woody allen character, or like allen ginsberg. i'm a little old jewish man trapped inside a wasp-y 18-year-old's body!! what an awkward feeling.

what it comes down to is that i'm tired of being here. i want to go back to colorado.